The Top 10 Non-Sports, Sports Stories: Hard Knocks, NBA Conspiracies, Terrell Owens & Tim Tebow
by Daniel Mogollon, Staff Writer; Image: DeShawn Stevenson stands in his kitchen, in between his counter and his ATM. (Image Source: Twitter)
Here are the top-10 outside the lines [the check is in the mail ESPN] sports stories of the week:
10) Alcorn State Hires Jay Hopson as Head Football Coach: Why is this a “non-sports†story you ask? Because the only reason this is a story is the color of Hopson’s skin…he’s white. You see, Alcorn State is a historically black college and they are making Hopson the first non-black head coach in the history of the Southwestern Athletic Conference.
9. Kordell Stewart Retires: If your response is, “wait, whatâ€, you’re not alone. It only took seven years of waiting by the phone [and checking several thousand times to make sure it was plugged in] before Stewart decided to hang it up. [Literally, put the phone down Kordell!] The NFLer formerly known is “Slash†is officially no longer part of league that he hasn’t been a part of since 2005 [unofficially?]. Apparently, Stewart needed closure, what ever that means. Come back to us Kordell…
8) Tim Tebow is Selling a lot of NFL Jerseys: I know, not really breaking news, but it’s a way to get Tim Tebow into the headline [Google likes Tebow], which equals hits. [We got you to click didn’t we?] According to NFLShop.com, the Jets backup quarterback/[first string?] personal punt protector, has sold the second-most jerseys from April 1 to May 28. His replacement in Denver, Peyton Manning, is the only one who has sold more.
7) The Pro Bowl is Back For 2013 in Hawaii: According to a release by the NFL, the Pro Bowl will be played on Sunday, January 27 in the week before the Super Bowl. Some say it’s where it belongs [Hawaii] and Cincinnati Bengals QB Andy Dalton says it was an, “awesome experience.†To which I say, who cares? You can’t make me watch. Last year’s contest resembled nothing close to a real football game. Last night’s “friendly†[how lame] between Brazil and USA was more meaningful.
6) Terrell Owens Cut From & Loses Interest in the Allen Wranglers: If I’ve never heard of the team or the league they play in [Indoor Football League], it’s a non-sports, sports story. Let’s be real. So Owens lost interest in going to road games and making public appearances, which led to his getting cut, as well as Owens losing his interest in the team, as in his 50 percent stake in the team was bought out for $50. Things apparently can’t get any worse for the future Hall of Famer, yet some are wondering if the New York Jets should sign TO. Go figure.
5) Steve Spurrier Says the Kids Should Play for Pay: For the second straight year South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier has proposed paying players a stipend during the SEC spring meetings. Spurries believes that athletes that participate in revenue-generating sports should receive "approximately $3,500 to $4,000". Why not? Sure there will be some complications along the way but the NCAA should find a way to make it happen.
4) Miami Dolphins Chosen For HBO’s Hard Knocks: Is this the beginning of the end for the best reality show on TV? The Phins? Really? HBO producers can claim all they want that no other team was offered a chance to appear in the 2012 edition of Hard Knocks, but we’re not buying it. Not in a New York second [the amount of time it takes to buy a Tebow jersey]. While some wonder if appearing on Hard Knocks is a good idea and others call it harmless fun, we can agree the show has been must watch TV for NFL fans. Hard Knocks will debut on August 7. Do you think the Dolphins can sign TO before then?
3) The NBA Lottery Was Fixed!: Even though I’m not a believer, who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory…especially if it involves David Stern? The team formerly owned by the NBA, the New Orleans Hornets, won the NBA lottery last night. One narrative says that new owner Tom Benson must have been assured he would get the top pick when he gave the NBA millions of his dollars. “And the new owner just happens to be here,†someone stated after the Hornets were awarded with the top pick. I’m just curious why the New York Knicks never have any ping pong balls? There is a conspiracy!
2) DeShawn Stevenson Installs ATM in His…Kitchen: Put that on my list of must-have appliances! After we finally add a [gluten-free] bread maker and a rice cooker [something other than a pot?] to the Mogollon kitchen, we may have to go to P.C. Richards & Son [I know a guy] and pick up an ATM. Is it just me or is the pic of Stevenson standing in his kitchen with an ATM destined to be on Tosh.O? Can the stripper pole be far behind? Somebody had to ask…
1) Michigan Commit Logan Tuley-Tillman Burns OSU Recruiting Letter: How do you not love this story? Tuley-Tillman, who decided to attend Michigan to play football, while spurning Ohio State tweeted a picture of himself burning a letter from “THE Ohio State University†or just plain “Ohio†[depends on whom you’re asking] on twitter, along with the hash tags #goblue and #beatohio. What makes this story go to the top of the list is some of the insane responses it’s getting, including death threats. Seriously people? This is a prank by a kid. Get over yourself and grow up.
Daniel Mogollon is a member of the Pro Football Writers of America and the Football Writers Association of American. He is also a voter for the Thorpe and the Rotary Lombardi Award, as well as the Latino Sports MVP Awards.
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